What you can do when you see others being bullied
This article is based on some of the mat chats (group discussions) we use in the junior classes at Total Martial Arts Swindon. We aim to give our students the skills and confidence required to stand up to bullying.
If you see someone being teased or bullied, is it ok to join in? Of course not. Joining in will give strength to the bully. Additionally, you will probably feel bad about it later.
If you see someone being teased or bullied, is it ok to stand and watch? No. When you stand and watch, you grant the bully an audience. Bullying isn’t as much fun to do when there is no one watching.
If you see someone being teased or bullied is it ok pretend that you didn’t see anything and go on your way? No. When you look the other way, you empower the bully to continue their behaviour. Once you and your friends decide to not tolerate bullying and take some action, it will occur less frequently.
Next, we will talk about things you should do when you see bullying.
Do you think it is easy to take a stand against bullying? Absolutely not! It takes a lot of courage. That’s why far too few people do it. You see, most children dislike seeing others being bullied, but they are scared to do anything for fear that the bully may turn their attentions on to them or that they might be viewed as a ‘tell-tale’. Remember, there is always something that you can do when you see others being bullied. And if more people would take a stand against bullying, we would see a lot less of it. That’s why we should try to be an Upstander instead of a Bystander. An Upstander takes action against bullying. A Bystander does nothing.
Let’s look at some ways that we can be an Upstander.
1. Get There First
Sometimes we can see a situation developing before it happens. For example, you may notice someone who has been bullied being approached by the bully. When this happens, you can use the “get there first” strategy. Let’s pretend that Jerry is approaching Daniel with the intention of bullying him, but he is still a long way off. You could walk over to Daniel and say, “Hey Daniel, why don’t you come back to the class with me early. I would like your help with a math problem.”
2. Step In and Take Charge.
If you see someone being bullied, one thing you can use is the “Step In and Take Charge” method. Imagine that you see Jerry calling Daniel names in front of a crowd during lunch break. You could walk right up to Jerry and say, “Jerry, you are bullying Daniel by calling him names. Please stop it right now. It’s not very nice and nobody likes it.”
3. Distract and Redirect
If you see someone being bullied and you are not comfortable confronting the bully, you can use the “Distract and Redirect” method. Once again, imagine that you see Jerry calling Daniel names in front of a crowd at lunch. You could walk up to Jerry, pretending like you don’t notice what is going on and say, “hi Jerry, that is a cool shirt.” Then grab Daniel by the arm, start to walk off and say “hey Daniel, come with me. I have something that I want to show you.”
4. Leave and Report
If you see someone being bullied and you are uncomfortable confronting OR interrupting the bully, you can use the “Leave and Report” method. Once again, imagine that you see Jerry calling Daniel names in front of a crowd at lunch. You can leave the scene immediately and report it to someone who has the authority to do something about it. “Mrs. Jones, Barry is bullying Johnny in the hall way. Please can you stop him?”
It is important to understand that you are NOT a tell-tale if you ask for help. Reporting is when you let someone who can help you know that you (or another person) are being treated in a disrespectful manner. Ask an adult for help. Tell them what is happening. No one should have to put up with bullying. Reaching out for help will take the bully’s power away.
Let’s review the four ways to be an Upstander.
They are:
1. Get There First
2. Step in and Take Charge
3. Distract and Redirect
4. Leave and Report
